Taylor Swift Names Baby After Herself and Her NFL Beau

Social Media Disinformation Reading Time: 4 minutes

Kansas Parents Go Swift-Kelce Level Bold with Baby’s Name

Days just after they introduced Mt. Rushmore to the world as the list’s newest faces right alongside Beyoncé-Jay-Z and, not surprisingly enough, Kermit-Miss Piggy, they’ve inspired. guess it. baby nomenclature with their monikers. That is right, folks. Less than 72 hours into the Instagram introduction, the Swift-Kelce propaganda ministry took the next step. That gets us hello the world to “Kelce Taylor.”

Now I know I should hold out until later for more of that, but can we just take just one second now to recognize the kind of cultural power couples it takes for someone to look into the face of their newborn infant and say to oneself, “Yes. The only possible legacy for this kid is to always remind everyone of one NFL tight end and the woman behind “You Belong with Me.” Kansas City is bold. Very bold.

Reports are coming to us directly from Liberty Hospital just 20 minutes from Kansas City (because for some strange reason having NFL team proximity does enter into baby names). The parents are longtime Kansas City Chief supporters as much as they are Swifties and brought the fanaticism to the Olympics with having the daughter’s identification with the name Taylor and Travis for all posterity. That’s right. That baby is about real-life verification the world of sports superstardom and pop can literally intersect. Get Guinness on the line. Or Ripley’s.

Baby Kelce Taylor’s Debut is the Real Chiefs MVP

But wait for it, it gets better. The hospital experienced their 15 minutes of fame and milked it to the max. They took to social declaring the arrival of Kelce Taylor with as much zip as any director on Broadway would. The post read as such, “We are totally delighted to announce the arrival of the youngest Swiftie and newest member of The Kansas City Chiefs Red Kingdom!!” It is one sentence with as many exclamation points as there are middle school students on the group text.

Coup de grâce? Oh, you just knew there was more. Baby Kelce was found snug as a bug in a blanket on the ground next to one teenie-tiny Chiefs football jersey with the number 87 on it (Kelce’s signature jersey number), and a name card covered with knee-high boots. Because there is nothing better to say “Welcome to the world!” than some obscure allusion to the Taylor Swift “Reputation” era. Camp, thy name is fandom.

And just when it couldn’t get any absurd. Let’s get to the real joke of the whole thing. There was one baby with two superstar names where one of the popstars cracks us up with the ball for the paycheck and the other created the billion-dollar empire rambling on about exes and cardies. I mean good on you boys, Taylor and Travis for keeping it real and cool when the pressure is on. Me? I break into the cold sweat just naming a new Wi-Fi network.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Are a “Spectacle.” Deal With It

But it is not just about Swift-taylor Kelce. No sir, it is a paragraph about the pop cultural phenomenon that is Swift-Kelce. Flash back to the good month of July 2023 when the entire thing got started when Travis shot his shot the old-school way—I mean, he selected himself a friendship bracelet with his number on it on his phone. Yep, truly. Guess TikTok just didn’t quite feel adequate to him. Though she nice-ly rejected the aforementioned bracelet half-way through the tour (because, oh I don’t know, she was busy breaking stadiums), Cupid it seemed otherwise.

Come September, the two were done with being cool. They announced the world to their first appearance together when they sat down to the NFL football game, because where better to break the newly simmering love affair to the world than with the accompaniment of 47 cameras and the foreboding shadow of the kiss camera? Commitment-phobe Taylor didn’t get all snug with Travis’s mother, Donna. Passing the parents test does not shout “serious” with any greater desperation.

Fast-forward to the month of December and Taylor, with her signature combination of cockiness and literary panache, brought up the topic of their relationship right the middle of the TIME magazine interview. “When you say it’s a public relationship, that means I am going to see him doing things he likes, we’re showing up for each other, other people are there and we are good with it.” In translation? “Yes, we’re a spectacle. Deal with it.” Honestly? Respect.

Taylor, Travis, and 1.2M Likes in an Hour

And then to top it all off as the ultimate way to solidify their title as the Social Media Couple of the Year™, they shared their love epic on Instagram. Travis shared the ultimate carousel of 13 (because Taylor and her beloved figure 13 is still along for the ride) perfectly laid-out pics capturing dinner dates, trips to Montana, all-black high-glamOUR bashes, and featured brother guest appearances by Jason Kelce and Austin Swift. Apparently the world wide web lost its collective cool when the fans descended to the post to the tune of 1.2 million likes all within the span of one hour. Taylor, Travis, and their very photogenic families might as well have trademarked the hashtag #CoupleGoals with the trademark symbol.

And now we are there. Missouri is not only the world barbecue and jazz capitol but the home to Kelce Taylor as well. This kid is not only the baby but the walking Venn diagram of pop cultural obsessivism and sports idolization. Travis is somewhere with wine more expensive than my rent monthly while he is browsing “How to Host the Perfect Gender Reveal Party on Google.”

As there are not any lulls to the nutty life of Swift and Kelce, we can all simply just be grateful for that. Oh except for sorry baby baby Kelce Taylor. You just know the school roll call back at kinder is just going to become totally circus.

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