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Reykjavik Like You’ve Never Seen Her Before: The Sarcastic Travel Guide
Welcome to Reykjavik, where not just blows the wind but slams you about like you’d been cheeky with its best mate. Here, brightly painted houses like a child’s imagination are stubborn little LEGO blocks with an Arctic backdrop that couldn’t possibly care two hoots for your puffer jacket. Reykjavik is magical as a Nordic fairy tale with cosmopolitan pizzazz. Imagine a Viking warlord who’s swapped axe-throws for poetry slams and craft beer. It’s snuggly and quirky and makes “cold comfort” a promise, not a threat.
Should you choose to venture to give the fermented shark, street names that you can’t pronounce, and locals who freely argue volcanic explosions while at their coffees, then fasten your seatbelts. This article isn’t for those who are easily offended—it will make you chuckle and bring you to that ultimate weekend.
Day One
Begin with Public Nudity (Sort of)
You need not warm up to Reykjavik eccentricity; we’re diving right in with both feet. Go directly to Laugardalslaug, a geothermal pool that is exactly Iceland’s take on “Cheers” but with significantly less clothing and considerably more chlorine. Just wait until, before you can partake of those “hot pots” (the high-brow definition of hot tubs), you will have to undress and clean yourself to surgical preparation readiness. Naked. In public. With people you do not know. Awkward, embarrassing, and somehow … thrilling?
After you’ve gone and gotten used to communal bathing, and your own being is clean inside too, treat yourself to a soak. Feeling reckless? Fill out the whirlpool with the ice plunge pool. You’ll be rejuvenated, numb, and maybe discussing Icelandic small talk, ie today’s wind direction.
Drinks and Pretentious Art Appreciation
Now that you’re warmed up to a reasonable temperature, stop by Hotel Holt, where you’ll be surrounded by roaring fireplaces and literary snobbery. The walls are lined with Icelandic artwork, likely costing at least as much as you make in a year. Get a cocktail that will cost you about as much as a tank of gas (2,000 ISK) and act like you know who that gruff-looking man staring at you from his painting is. Insider tip: Simply say “Kjarval was really ahead of his time” and sound like a smart person.
Fermented Shark or Dinner Only?
At dinner time, be tough. Book a table at Thrir Frakkar, which has no regard for interior decorator sensibility with taxidermy-meets-granny’s-living-room decor. Hard-core adventurers will have to try to get through that notorious fermented shark, that most notoriously awful of Icelandic specialties that comes to the table with schnapps to help keep you going.
Not your cup? Fear not to order a plate of Icelandic lamb or creamy spuds. They will not judge. Much.
Evenings Never End (Literally)
End your day with a walk to the Grotta Lighthouse, where migratory birds and seals won’t judge you. Summer visitors are fortunate enough to experience the midnight sun, while winter visitors might catch a glimpse of the northern lights. And, ahem, DO NOT FORGET to check out the Kvika footbath, a teeny-tiny geothermal spot. Yes, essentially a hot tub for your toes. Welcome.
Day Two
A Pondside Breakfast (More Adventurous Than You Think)
Begin your day with the perfect cup of coffee that you will never need to yield to Starbucks temptation again. The Kaffi O-le will serve this up strong, and you will need to pair this with one of Braud og Co.’s pastries. Their caramel-muesli pastry will kill every diet but is 100% worth it. Take your breakfast outdoors to Tjornin Pond for a spot of serene people-watching. They may be skaters, swans, or delighted locals chuckling at your pronunciation of Icelandic words but the scene is magical.
Because Medieval Manuscripts are Cool Now
History geeks, gather ’round. Head to World of Words exhibition to geek out to ancient manuscripts and Viking sagas. Stand there in silent wonder at the knowledge that Norse myths were rather episode-laden soap opera than one episode of Succession would ever aspire to be. Still not enough? Get yourselves to National Museum for up-close examination of Iceland’s Viking past. Extra credit when casually declaring “Thor’s hammer acted as a protection amulet first” afterwards.
Shark, Ice Cream, and Creativity Collisions Lunch is Saegreifinn, a waterfront dive that serves up fermented shark to grizzled adventurers and langoustine soup to sanity-sane lunchtime visitors. Grandi District is worth a stroll around lunchtime, too, when creaky warehouses are home to such indulgencies as Omnom, a rich chocolate company. Their sundae toppings? Sea salt and licorice that are weirdly addictive. Don’t believe us? Iceland never gets dull—not even at dessert time.
Finish with Björk-Worthy Odd
Follow Reykjavik’s alt-scene at Smekkleysa, the record shop that smells like it’s soaked in Björk chic. Visit Fischersund, a collective of perfumers who’ve created scents that evoke Iceland’s rugged country. Want to smell like volcanic ash and moss? Why not?
Day Three
Coffee Therapy at Prikid
When that wacky Saturday finds you, give Prikid, Reykjavik’s oldest hip-hop café fusion, a reload. Pancakes are like that cozy, syrupy bear hug that you never realized you needed. Add limitless refills of coffee to keep all that residual drowsiness (or remorse) at bay. spa Bliss With Fjord Views Cap off your Reykjavik weekend at Hvammsvik, a spa that sits at the end of a fjord. You’ll bask in natural hot springs and look out at mountains so beautiful, you’ll think they must be photoshopped. Peckish? The seafood soup and open sandwiches are almost as delicious as they look.
Reykjavik, a City like No Other
Reykjavik isn’t merely a stopover town, it’s a masterclass in how cool, quirky, and charmingly strange a place can get. Flying into your geothermal hot spring, dining off of shark (or at least shark stories), exploring under a lights-on-forever ceiling, you’ll be leaving with a smile stretched from cheek to cheek and a hint of Viking swagger in your very essence. Sail your appetite (and a pinch of bravery), thermals, and be prepared for a most unforgettable Arctic adventure.
Fun fact alert!
Iceland took a hard pass on the whole “family name” thing. Your surname, instead, was invented into an ode to your parents. It’s a family chart that you have with you while you waltz through the day – just with less branches and more invented nomenclature.
Here’s the catch: If your old man is Gunnar, yay! You are now Gunnarsson (son of Gunnar) if you’re a dude, or Gunnardóttir (daughter of Gunnar) if you’re a chica. Like, Iceland parents discovered a loophole to remind you whose genes got you here every single day of your existence.
And indeed that means that all those families strolling around Reykjavik have unique last names. Just imagine how crazy family gatherings will be… “Which Gunnarsson? Oh no, not that Gunnardóttir, no, this other one!”
