Reading Time: 2 minutesPassive Suicidal Depression: Like Dying, but with Extra Steps
The term passive suicidal depression represents what many would consider a contradictory expression. Depression made its appearance one morning and decided dramatic gestures were not its style. The mind behind this condition decided against flashy displays so it chose to create a gradual and depressing state. This form of death occurs through an endless series of gentle head taps that destroy your will to live. The experience feels like Chinese water torture instead of fireworks.
The nice pattern began each day at 5 p.m. The time I spent awaiting bedtime approached like I was running a game show which proved to be the most depressing one in the world. The winner of this unlucky draw receives 8 hours of sleep (which can extend to 12 hours) for brief respite from this wonderful way of life. The moment I climbed into bed sweet relief did not arrive immediately. Oh no. The bed became my resting place where I would perform an extensive multi-deity prayer session which would surpass Christmas Eve mass in terms of intensity. “Dear Whoever’s Listening, please, just don’t make me wake up tomorrow.” Ridiculous, right? Watching an uninteresting rom-com continuously without any funny one-liner to ease the sadness results in eternal existential despair.
Passive Suicidal Thoughts Are Harmless… Until They’re Not
This is not a single unfortunate week with bad luck. Try months. Maybe even years. A worst-case-scenario Groundhog Day repeats continuously but instead of quirky humor it features only unending emptiness in a never-ending loop.
But wait! There’s more. Passive suicidal depression takes the path of complete mental destruction before it attempts to destroy your body. It comes for your body, too. Safety precautions? People who preserve themselves have time for safety measures. You may attempt knife juggling similar to performing in an amateur circus or believe crosswalk signals exist only as suggestions. My life became both dangerous and foolish.
Doesn’t it seem that these thoughts are completely harmless? some brave soul might ask. Spoiler alert: it isn’t. Such thoughts prove to be both dangerous and completely obvious to anyone who experiences them. The soul endures a gradual process of despair until it reaches a complete flooding point. The invasion begins while hopelessness restructures your mental environment until you realize disaster is looming.
Here’s the plot twist, though. Fixing it is possible. Yeah, right? Shocking. The mood-stabilizing medication lithium functions as the most effective anti-suicidal treatment available. It stands as the one drug which scientists have proven has anti-suicidal effects. The real MVP of the “please-keep-living” movement is this treatment. But for most of us mortals, it’s rarely that simple. The journey to find suitable medication becomes a game of chance where you must take different medications in succession. Patients with bipolar disorder should exercise caution when combining mood stabilizers with antipsychotic drugs and antidepressants because this treatment combination resembles a dangerous high school chemistry experiment. You will appreciate the therapy tools you create before your brain starts playing its “Why Try?” collection of songs.
The Path to Something Better Starts Here
And that’s the thing. Suicidality displays its passive-aggressive mood alongside other forms while serving as no joke. The situation requires immediate attention because it generates an intense warning signal that demands attention. Yes, it’s slow. Yes, it’s frustrating. But guess what? It works. You’re worth working for.
Right now if you find yourself trapped in this destructive mental cycle then I offer you help. If necessary scream your feelings to a professional through their ear. Explore your options. Follow the slow and irritating path which leads you toward something better. The dark cloud overhead presents false information even when its messages seem powerful.
Do you require someone to disturb you until you remember this truth? I volunteer as tribute.
